Sometimes you read something and it just resonates. It sings and soars and all the pieces seem to fall into place. When I read the above line in Brené Brown’s latest book, I had one of those moments. Between studying science in my bachelor’s degree and now theology in my master’s, I have encountered the entire range of individuals encompassed in Brown’s quote. What I have learned through my experience—what fit together oh-so-neatly when I read Brown’s book—is that while dismissing science is clearly unreasonable and goes against the entire foundation of modern society, dismissing the power of mystery is equally unreasonable.
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My favorite season is upon us! Leaves are preparing for their colorful flight, pumpkin spice lattes are in high demand, and there is a crispness to the air that invigorates my spirit and warms my heart. Not only does autumn bring a multitude of holidays—especially for Canadians like myself who are living in the United States (two Thanksgivings!)—but it also brings the end of summer holiday chaos and the beginning of familiar routines. In fact, I find the month of September often feels more like a New Year than the first of January…so this year I decided to treat it like that🙂
Instead of creating a New Year’s resolution—which we all know are rarely kept—I decided to consider this Autumn New Year as an opportunity to re-evaluate my daily life and specifically to try something I have been casually developing over the last six months. It is called a “Connectedness Evaluation.” It is still in its preliminary phase, but I’m excited, so I want to share it with you!
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I don’t know about you, but I am feeling exhausted from the recent onslaught of human-caused tragedy. On Friday I learned that flags in the United States had been half-mast for 16 of the last 40 days, starting with the Orlando shooting, and more specifically 12 of the last 14 days between the attack in Nice, France and the shootings of the police officers in Dallas, Texas and Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Plus, there have also been countless other tragic events that did not lower the flag. When the news is reporting on events caused by fear (like the events I just mentioned), it can feel as though a part of that fear is transferred through the newspaper and into our lives. Yet, it is one thing to read the news, and another to carry it fearfully throughout the day, allowing it to affect our mental state and the way we interact with other people. The last thing our world needs right now is a ripple effect of fear.
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This summer I am thrilled to be working as a student researcher at Dana Farber Cancer Institute, one of the hospitals affiliated with Harvard Medical School. Last week, my supervisor told me about a recently published study from the Harvard School of Public Health, which found that over the course of a 16-year period, participants who regularly attended religious services had a 33 percent lower mortality rate than those who never attended religious services.[i][ii] In other words, while all the participants would have died eventually if the study had continued, in general those who regularly attended religious services lived significantly longer. What?!
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Life can be busy, and from my experience, this busyness can sometimes lead us off track, especially with regard to spirituality. Perhaps we stop meditating regularly, forget the daily spiritual text we normally read, or neglect to take conscious breaths. Suddenly we find ourselves being reactive instead of proactive, jumping to judgment or defensiveness more quickly, and generally feeling a sense of disconnect—from ourselves, our friends and family, our environment, and our sense of something greater. Getting off track is normal, so there’s no need to be upset with ourselves when it happens (relinquish perfectionism, remember?). However, it’s also not a comfortable place to be, so it’s helpful to have tools that let us jumpstart that return to Connectedness, spirituality, and love.
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I am a recovering perfectionist. I quit “cold turkey” a few years ago, and it was one of the best choices I have ever made! As a general rule, I feel much lighter and more peaceful now. However, I still slip up occasionally. Some of my relapse indicators include obsessing over outcomes, living for the future, negative self-talk, focusing on minute details, and worrying about what other people think. Do any of those symptoms sound familiar? If so, you, my friend, may also be experiencing a bad case of perfectionism!Read More »
I have been noticing this year just how “plugged in” I am all the time. It takes me five minutes to walk from my apartment to Harvard Divinity School. Too often I have spent that walk with my head gazing at my phone, reading emails, answering texts, or creating to-do lists. Yet, through my research on spirituality, I know how important it is both to be present and to feel a connection with nature, so recently I have started to look around!
I look at the beautiful old brick homes lining the street, and then look past the manmade to the natural. I notice the tree roots that buckle the brick sidewalks and the grass poking through. When it’s sunny I notice the blue sky; rainy, the reflective puddles. This winter, I noticed the way the fresh snow lined the barren tree branches, and now that it is spring, I am noticing the flowers!
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My goal for this blog is to share spiritual tools that I have discovered and am continuing to discover through my research and personal seeking. To begin, I am writing about the tool I see as foundational for all other spiritual tools: conscious breathing. (Interestingly, something I did not realize before researching for this blog post, is that the term spirituality is actually derived from the Latin word spiritus, which means breath![i])
Breathing is directly tied to our existence (we need to breathe to stay alive), it is a simple tool (inhale, exhale, repeat), and it can be used anywhere (except underwater or in space without the right equipment😉 ). Feeling nervous at the dentist? Breathe. Getting tired while exercising? Breathe. Feeling annoyed with your partner? Breathe. Wanting to savor a precious moment? Breathe.
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Several years ago, during a period of personal crisis, I started to wonder, “What is the difference between religion and spirituality?” I was studying psychology at the time, so I looked into academic research on the topic—and was really disappointed! So much of the research used the terms “spirituality” and “religion” interchangeably, but from my point of view, that didn’t make sense. While it could be argued that most religious people are spiritual, I also knew it was possible to be spiritual but not religious, meaning the two terms are separable.
So, I continued to research and found that some studies do view religion and spirituality as separate, and they generally define religion as something like the formal beliefs, rituals, dogma, and community that collectively create a religious institution.
However, it seemed that nobody could agree on a definition of spirituality! This is probably because spirituality is a very personal topic…and because none of the proposed definitions are quite right. In some cases, the definitions are too vague; in others, too complicated. Furthermore, the definitions that captured my understanding of spirituality are not easy to use in research, while those that are valid for research did not really capture my understanding of spirituality.
I wanted a definition that made sense to me, made sense to other people, and could be used in social science research. I couldn’t find one, so, with the support of my honors thesis professor, I decided to create one.
Three years, two directed studies, and one publication later, I had my definition:
But what does it mean?
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